(H)Alice even played for the Habs! What self respecting New Englander does that?!? Marc DesRosiers-US PRESSWIRE

Black Friday blowouts and strains of Mariah Carey’s infamous hit (if you say it three times, it will appear) mean it’s almost that special day where Tukka Time gives way to Turkey Time.   And just because the NHL isn’t in full swing doesn’t mean there aren’t still things to be thankful for.  For one, we’re off the hook (thus far) for Tim Thomas’ salary situation.  Gary Bettman may also be authoring his final chapter as league commissioner.  But with great thanks, also comes great regret.  Sometimes you can only look back at your so-called learning experiences and mutter “what the cluck?”.  So, as you stare longingly out the window this holiday at that pond across the street that’ll soon turn to ice, just be thankful that a few of those experiences are now behind us.  They are, the biggest turkey’s in Bruins history.

10. Blaine Lacher:  A case could really be made for just about any goalie the Bruins had between the Andy Moog/Reggie Lemelin and Tim Thomas/Tuukka Rask eras.  Still, there was something special about Lacher.  At just 24 years young, he put up impressive numbers in 1994-95′, even earning the fan vote for the prestigious 7th Player award.  He also played up his surname with a cool (to an 8 year old in ’94) mask with a “Loch Ness monster” theme.  Alas, 95-96′ would not be so kind, as “the monster’s” true form arose and he was quickly demoted to Providence following a slow start.  He never regained form.  He’s rumored to have dumped his 7th player award off at a collectibles store, hopped on his hog, and never looked back.

9. Hal Gill:  The 6″7′ Red Oak of a man should have been a dominant force on the ice.  Instead, he was more like a felled Birch.   (H)alice was often over-matched and shaky at best on defense.  Rarely physical, the B’s often got more out of the diminutive (5″10′!) Don Sweeney.  Gill got a long leash because of the potential in his wing span and his Massachusetts roots.  The Old Man could only shake his head upon hearing that Gill’s name was inscribed upon the Cup.

8.  Dave Lewis:  Lewis was the man brought in to help usher in a new era for the Bruins.  Zdeno Chara, Marc Savard, and Dave Lewis were Peter Chiarelli’s big additions to signal that Boston was back.  Two out of three ain’t bad.  Lewis and his clean-cut cookie duster never were quite the right fit in Boston.  It was one and done as the B’s inconsistent play added up to a losing season and a 5th place Northeast finish.  Not exactly what you’d expect from the guy hired to lead you to the promised land.  Hey, at least we got Claude Julien out of it.

7.  Eddie Shack:  This is all you need to know about “The Entertainer”.

6.  Martin Lapointe:  Signed in the summer of 2001, Lapointe was thought to be a poor man’s Cam Neely.  Only problem was, the B’s spent big bucks on him.  Large contracts and small production don’t add up well in Boston and Lapointe drew allot of criticism right out of the gate.  The silver lining to the 04′ lockout was the fact that the B’s were able to dump Lapointe’s remaining contract year.

5.  Steve Kasper:  The friendly coach.  Kasper was the man who benched Kevin Stevens (rightfully so).  He’s also the man who benched Cam Neely.  It was arguably the darkest day in Boston Bruins history.  The Bruins faltered under Kasper and missed the playoffs for the first time 30 years.  Kasper didn’t have any conviction behind the bench and couldn’t motivate the team.  The Bruins choice to replace him after just two seasons with ex-cop Pat Burns spoke volumes.

4.  Kevin Stevens:  1995 should have been a homecoming for the lumbering Left Winger.  Instead, he should have just stayed home.  The B’s hoped to ring in their new building, the Fleet Center, in style.  They acquired Stevens and fellow Pens’ mates Shawn McEachern and Joe Mullen in hopes of catching some of Pittsburgh’s former Cup glory.  It wasn’t to be.  Despite playing alongside sniper Cam Neely and setup whiz Adam Oates, all of Stevens talent actually belonged to Mario Lemieux.  The former 50 goal scorer was infamously benched before finally being shipped out before the season was over.  Oh yeah, and Boston lost Glen Murray in the deal.

3.  Marty McSorely:  The one-time goon and adopted Californian was all but washed up when the Bruins brought him aboard in December of 1999.  Twenty seven games later he made it official by dropping the hammer on Donald Brashear’s skull during the closing minutes of a meaningless game.  Just another page in one of the saddest chapters in Bruins history.

2.  Mike O’Connell:  As assistant GM and V.P. of hockey operations, you can bet O’Connell played a big part in bringing in Stevens and McSorely, and for the painful exit of Adam Oates.  You can blame him squarely for Lapointe, Robbie Ftorek, and the mishandling of Bill Guerin.  He’s also the guy who dumped the pillars of the 97′ draft, Joe Thornton and Sergei Samsonov, pretty much on a whim and for questionable returns (After O’Connell was canned, the B’s used a second rounder from the Samsonov deal to land Milan Lucic.  Peter Chiarelli later dealt Brad Stuart and Wayne Primeau for Andrew Ference).  The final straw came when ownership got wind that he was working to lock Gill up longterm.  With his firing, the sloppiest chapter in Bruins history drew to a close.

1.  Jeremy Jacobs:  The biggest Butterball of them all.  Don’t let his recent warm-heartedness fool you.  He’s the man that drove Bobby Orr out of town.  He’s the one responsible for jacking up concession and ticket prices.  He’s the absent-minded professor who allowed Harry Sinden to stay on well past his twilight… and then replaced him with O’Connell.  It’s his penny-pinching ways that cost the B’s cups in 1988, 90′, and 92′(and arguably other years).  He’s the asterisk next to Ray Bourque’s career that reads “Won Stanley Cup with Colorado Avalanche”.  He’s the bouncer that Oates ripped on his way out of town.  He’s the clairvoyant who decreed the Bruins not re-sign Michael Nylander, Brian Rolston, Sergei Gonchar, Mike Knuble, and Sean O’Donnell prior to the 2004 lockout, leaving the B’s roster high and dry one year later.  And now he always seems to be in the room when the NHL can’t get anything done during this lockout.  Get two cans of gravy for this gobbler.

Happy Turkey Day all!  Here’s to hoping the NHL sees daylight in December, and that the Pats deal a crucial blow to the Jets while you’re busy riding the Tryptophan train to sleepy town.

Custom Kitchen Delivery!  Marc DesRosiers-US PRESSWIRE

We’ve got to move on these, centers and wingers…

We’ve got to lock up all of these young guns.

That ain’t working, this is how we’ll do it…

Extend Lucic at the Garden, TD.

As the B’s moved to lock down another piece of their core, one has to wonder if Peter Chiarelli realizes he isn’t actually playing with Monopoly money.  While nailing down Milan Lucic is a great move, his contract may be another story.

On Saturday, the Bruins extended Lucic to an eye-brow raising three year, 18 million dollar deal.  That’s six million a year!  All tied up in a guy who’s only scored 30 goals once, and seems to lumber about with questionable intensity at times.  For the money, Boston would have been better off shipping Lucic and a draft pick to Anaheim for Bobby Ryan(as swirling rumors would have it earlier this summer), saving cap space in the process.  After this season, his Ryan’s hit would’ve been nearly one million dollars cheaper than Lucic.  And for one less contract year!

Lucic get’s allot of support in New England, but not nearly as much as he once did.  The fact is, the desire just isn’t what it used to be.  He used to be a poor man’s Cam Neely, creating space with fierce body checks and hands of stone.  Now he’s trying to rely on those stone hands to score finesse goals.  Looch, it ain’t gonna happen.  And if the Bruins think their six million dollar investment will bring out the big man’s inner beast, they may have another thing coming.

Milan doesn’t realize it yet, but the pressure just got turned way up.  Boston is a demanding city.  If you’re going to get paid six mil. a year and take up enough cap space for nearly two players, then you better sure as hell live up to it.  It won’t take much for fans to starting dubbing #17, Milan “Boo-cheech”.  Anything under 35 goals, 10 fights, and a nightly mean streak will quickly be dubbed “garbage” by the would-be Gallery Gods.

The most jaw dropping part of the deal is the shear uncertainty to which Peter Chiarelli is committing himself.  No one knows how this lockout is going to end.  The owners are stumping for a cap rollback.  The B’s are going to be tight going into next year as it is.  How can they justify dumping six million into one player, having no clue what kind of rodeo they’re getting into?   The last time the Bruins thought they had a handle on the changing CBA, they got burned faster than a thirteen year old at the middle school dance.

Perhaps things are different this time around.  At least the Bruins have an actual roster heading into the potential upcoming season.  And it’s highly unlikely any dramatic changes will affect current rosters.  Like rebellious teens throwing a party the first night their parents head to Maine on vacation, Chiarelli has some time (about a year), to sort out any broken bottles or pizza stained couch type messes that may arise.  Until then…

I want my…

I want my…

I want my N-H-L.

1976-95: Timeless Home Whites & Road Blacks 

A few minor tweaks not-withstanding, these are arguably the Bruins most classic uniforms.  The solid colors and straight lines on these beauties are timeless, keeping the B’s atop the NHL’s fashion elite over three decades.  The set served as the team’s longest running choice of sweaters.  The alternating spoked B’s, black at home and gold on the road, brought a dynamic element of variety, while the cartoonish bear patch, while cheesy on it’s own, fit the uniform and served as a consistent reminder of the game’s roots in our childhood.  Pair them with black helmets and gold socks on the road to complete the look.

Who wore them best?  Andy Moog:  The roaring bear mask elevates the outfit to a new level.

1948-49:  Limited Time Only “Silver” Edition 

Boston would don these rarities for just one year.  Commemorating their 25th anniversary, the Bruins returned a B to prominence on their uniforms for the first time in 12 years.  Additionally, this is the very first instance of the famed spoked B, used in variations every season since.  The very essence of the logo exudes confidence, claiming Boston as the hub of hockey, a statement that still rings true today.  The solid B with the white and gold stripes gives the road blacks a very retro feel.  It’s also the first time the Bruins went bold with black as a primary.  Leave the lids at home, but don’t forget to pair with gold striped pants.

Who wore them best?  Frank Brimsek.  Swagger on and off the ice.

1969-74:  Championship Gear

The Big Bad Bruins defined themselves in these sets and they cannot be ignored.  Today’s current jersey’s may feel like your daddy’s Bruins, but there are some subtle differences.  This squad gets fashion points for having the Gold B on the Black sweaters.  The dual logos lend their appeal to a spontaneous side and really pop against those dark backgrounds.  The shoulder yokes and solid white stripe on the pants hark back to a time long past.  Pair them with shaggy hair, sideburns, and two Stanley Cup rings.

Who wore them best?  Bobby Orr with his chiseled good looks, Derek Sanderson with his bad boy defiance, and Gerry Cheevers with the original “painted” mask

1959-65:  Poor But Passionate

These were arguably some of the Bruins worst seasons of all time as they finished last in five out of six tries.  Still, with this tri-fecta of bold uniforms, they managed to look great doing it.  The whites are a classic take on a pattern used throughout most of their history.  Gold is always a daring choice, but the black yokes and pants really pull the look together.  The B’s could stand to re-introduce a gold sweater to their current repertoire as the fans always receive them well.  Finally, the blacks.  Double stripes is an innovative move not often seen on modern hockey jerseys, and for good reason.  Boston seems to pull it off here though.  The white numbers also add a special intrigue.    Losers can’t be pickers, so pair them with a pack of Lucky Strikes and a case of Miller High Life (the Champaign of Beers, for 1959-60′s lone 5th place finish).

Who wore them best?  Johnny Bucyk.  A young Chief cuts a much more imposing figure than the long haired, chubbier late 70′s one.

2008 – Present:  Retro Redux

The home and road kits hark back to the Big Bad Bruins hey-day, when braun and skill ruled the ice.  What really brings this set alive though is the alternate.  The B’s channeled their inner Johnny Cash and went for a sleek and bold black look.  There’s a certain energy that translates to the fans when Boston wears these uniforms.  They make a statement, as any worthwhile ensemble should.  While the arm stripes would look nice on the bottom, the key to the whole thing is the logo.  Reaching way back and drawing inspiration from their origins, the updated crest scores a hat-trick in style, beauty, and most importantly, toughness.

Who wears it best?  Patrice Bergeron.  The man is class on skates.

The Bruins biggest fashion fashion faux-paus?  Check out these pullovers worn from 1940-44.  Nice.  If you’re a senior citizen throwing your support behind “Boston’s Ice Hockey Playing Team” at your 76th High School reunion.  These sweaters are just that.  Sweaters.  They look dated even for their time period.  I suppose all the creativity was being used for the war effort.

Something we missed?  Don’t agree with the choices?  Let us know, fashion is open to interpretation… just look at your girlfriend!